Fractures are hard, even when they’re amicable, they can be hard. However, there’s something way harder than breaking up: getting back together. Imagine building a house of cards. It takes awfully long to build that thing, but once you do, you’re kind of proud of what you achieved. Now, in less than a second and with one swift motion, it can all come falling. Rebuilding that house of cards won’t be like before. You’re aware of how long it takes and how easy it is to break it down, so you aren’t able to go through with it with the same enthusiasm.
People make mistakes. Those mistakes can lead to breakups. Mistakes are categorized into two types; the forgivable ones and the unforgivable ones. You’ll clearly be able to differentiate between the two when, after a breakup, you’ll find yourself questioning whether it was the best thing to do?
The first step is always the hardest one and that is convincing them that you deserve the second chance. Here are some ways to convince your ex to let you back in or at least consider the possibility of a reconciliation:
1. Give them enough space before talking about what led you two to breakup:
Even if you two decided to remain friends and even if there are no hard feelings, the truth is that you can’t begin the friendship phase until you and your partner have some time to think things through. Once that time period is up, you need to ease your way back into their life.
Some people would focus more on what happened and other people would try to ignore the matter, regardless of whichever one of these people you are, if you want to get back together with your ex, you need to ease your way back. Don’t bring up that matter every chance you get and don’t just randomly suggest it out of the blue. Hold your time and let them take theirs.
Now, once the matter is brought up, talk everything over. Focus primarily on what led to you two breaking up in the first place. Who’s fault was it? Was it necessary? These are all the things you two need to talk through so that there won’t be any unfinished business when you two reconcile.
2. Hear their concerns and let yours be heard too:
After making sure that both of you are aware of what led to the breakup and who had a more prominent role in it (if so) then make sure that you hear whatever they think has to go different the second time around. A second chance is hard to get and essential to cherish. Design sure you listen to everything they say but make sure that your voice isn’t muffled either.
Restart the relationship on a hopeful note that this time around, things will be different.
3.В Try being the person they fell in love with:
There is absolutely no shame in admitting that you let yourself go over time. In fact, I don’t even believe there can be such a thing as ‘letting yourself go’ in these cases. Obviously, for your first date, you dressed up a bit and made yourself look better than how you normally would have looked. Over time, when you two got more comfortable around each other, you started to be the person you would be if you didn’t have a date on a Saturday night (even though you sort of do). Although there is no shame in this, you can’t let your partner forget what led them to fall for you in the first place.
If they liked your sense of humor, crack a joke once in a while. If they liked how ambitious you were, show them that you weren’t faking it just to get them to like you. Design sure that they know that you will always have that factor that separated you from everyone else in the room leading to them falling for you and no one else.
4. Realize that it takes time:
After completing all these steps, you can’t expect that the relationship will automatically go back to how it was. That’s something a lot of people often overlook. They get frustrated at the fact that it’s harder this time. Well, why wouldn’t it be? Things aren’t always easy and second chances are NEVER easy.
The second chance is something to hold on to. Once you get it, you can’t think that it won’t be slightly awkward at the start. Hold your time with each other before and during the relationship. Gaining someone’s trust and affection back is extremely hard.
All in all, just remember the example mentioned at the start of this article. We’re all human and sometimes we unknowingly make mistakes that cost us something we held dear. The fact that you accepted your part in the breakup and realized that it wasn’t for the best, is more than enough on your half. Work to regain their trust or so that whatever misunderstanding there was between the two of you gets sorted out. Even if the reason you two broke up was conflicting time schedules or the distance and you still feel that it wasn’t the right thing to do then find a way to get them back.
Sort it out, make a plan and tell them you want a second chance. Getting them back is hard as all second chances are, but you need to realize that sometimes the better things in life are that way.
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Has your relationship ever been through a very difficult patch? How did you come out of it? Let me know in the comments down below!
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